final sm's frst day...i am in love frst time...ma frst purpose

i am in deprssion ...i dnt knw wat i am dng....i am drunk too much....but i am not taht much...
i loved that grl and i came to knw it at a time that i hardly see her....
i am a f**king a**h**e....i knw i ma a f**du....but wat the f**k a love is a love ...
through ma good frnd ....i got to propose her...but what the f**k she said abt...she is confused...
f**k...she is confused...and i am ruined.....and hence but yah what and why she shld care off....
after all girls ratio is quite less than of boys in India and hence she can have options....

what what will be the result of this....this f**ked up guy will be ruined and be hit in his own a**
so hard....oh GOD ...the word "NO" said by her shld not have been that painful....then this that i am confused ....f**ked....

yaar what the f**k is ma fault.......wat the f**k i had done wth anyone....atleast a no shld not have caused her to pay an income or luxury tax..
and rather it shld have i may have paid it easily...

but yaar how can she judge me ...if nt fit how can she be syaing me unfit...she hardly knows me....
but if this reason is much sufficient to say me unfit ...i can say if she dnt knw me hw can se call me unfit....

a mediocre answer is always an option...

anythng saying like a cancer patient will die in a month will make that patient die too soon...
but hiding it will leave to make him live that month satisfactory...

i amy be saying a bit wrong in emotion
...but wat else....

now thats it tahts final thats the fuck...

I AM IN LOVE
AND I WILL BE ALWAYS with you...

if there is GOD anywhere anyhow...
lets see if taht GOD supports ma love and if not ....

i dnt say a lie that u wre the frst girl in ma life but yah fr sure this thing is
ok u were the last girl in ma life tahts it ....

and i will remember and wait fr u ....

love u so much ma love....

take care....
i am weeping....thanks fr hearing wat i can say....

i will try to be more gud in future....

have a nice life
take care
gud nite..

i cnt say anythng to ma frnd to as he is in between two of us....
he has to answer me and i am waiting fr taht answer....

Oh GOD
this is such a f**king cndtn i am into....
SAI JI
u are ma everythng ....SHOW ME A DIRECTION PLS...